Self-Expression – An Open Window To The World.

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I have not posted a style diary post in a few days and I would love to say its because of some huge setback or otherwise occupied, but to be frank it’s not. Life just happens, and I need time to center my focus. The great part about having a space like this allow is sharing the ups and the downs. Especially, when I am in a space of transition and discovery. These are often the moments when I am conflicted and often a bit hesitant to do anything because I am fighting what I already know, what I am discovering and what is totally new to me.

I am experiencing all of it. It is beautiful yet overwhelming all at once.

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Needy…

TEXTNever really wanted to be seen, see I know too much.

I never wanted to be love because love meant pain.

I never wanted money because money cost too much.

But I wanted to be needed,

to be wanted, to be desired and they said that

I was all they ever needed.

I was right, I listened, I cared and

I was always on time.

I loved them, I loved her, I loved him, they wanted me.

They told me so you see. I was there.

I went… They came.

And we were free. We slept, we wept and laughed

and even played a little.

They said misery loves company–

Not true.

They needed me, I could have not just been there,

she needed me, he needed me and that’s

how its suppose to be.

You are to be needed, to be wanted. I’ve never been

needed before. He said I was what he needed to make it

She was my friend and how could I say no.

She was at a breaking point… He was hurting.

I needed her– Oh!

I mean she needed me.

 


 

Thanks for stopping by!!

 

 

As always, Peace, Love and Great Coffee!!

 

 

New Chapters: How do we start?

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Everyone that’s ever read a book will tell you that every chapter finished with a complete sentence. At least the books that I’ve read. They have a “period” marking an end of a sentence than a few more empty spaces. However, I think some chapters in life should be incomplete.

I’ve watched myself do my best to complete a chapter in life. Whether it’s trying to figure out what went wrong in the last relationship or what I didn’t do on my last project. I’ve been obsessed with “finishing” the chapter with a clear understanding of what went right and what went wrong. And I realized that sometimes in life, we should just start a new chapter. No conclusions, no explanations, or thoughts.

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An ode to the Creative Spirit: Be You!

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“How much of ourselves and life have we really airbrushed?” I asked myself this question while reading an article on creative writing.

Yes, creative writing! Of all things to trigger this question, right?

It seems the more access we get to outlets of creative expression, the less “self” is in that expression. Many have found the only way to protect their mental sanity and heart is to filter what the public accesses.

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Historic Beauty

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What I would give to go back in time and experience some of the transformational periods in history. Something about the past captivates me, the trends, the things that took place, etc.  At times I have to bring myself back to the present to not get lost in daydreaming. What we consider vintage nowadays was someone’s everyday life; I wonder what the generations after us will say about these times.

I like to think as we remember the past a part of it stays with us. Forever, revealing more and more to us. That was my experience on my most recent city hop.

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She wore Acceptance

It isn’t enough to say, “I don’t care what others think of my body or style” when the loudest voice is the one in your own head. iaml1m1tless-nappy-4341

What I believed about my appearance limited the freedom to completely accept my body shape and personal style.  Negative body image developed from toxic relationships, and over time I became self-conscious about my natural body shape. I wore the acceptance of others.

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She wore Distrust

I wore distrust feeling like I had no other option. You see, at a very young age I was molested on multiple occasions. My innocence was taken away before I even knew what it was.

distrust blogAt the age of 8, my 3 year old brother was poisoned and killed. He was not even given a chance to start school. Months later, my parents got divorced because my mom got pregnant for someone else and my dad got remarried 2-3 months after.

Not only did he get remarried, but he married secretly to a woman I never got introduced too and brought me to live with them after.

 

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